How are thoughts output?
People think a lot. However, we only output a fraction of this. There's a significant problem here; the most fundamental assumptions in our thinking are the ones we intuitively consider to be "trivial". For anyone outside us, be it somebody else or our future selves, these "trivial" bits are the most nontrivial ones. They are so fundamental they rarely get expressed.
I dislike outputting information based solely on my feeling or intuition. However, these bits are the ones I'll most likely miss in the future since they've been formed via unconscious processi.
Often I take into account how I'm "supposed to think" when I'm forming coherent wholes. However, this is counterproductive. Other people's supposedly good thinking strategies rarely are applicable to my mindspace.
I like to think in weird words. I dislike them, however, because it's hard for other people to understand. But when I move from my intuitive, hard to understand thoughtforms to less intuitive, easier to understand for other people thoughtforms, it simplifies the output. Lowest common denominator. If someone hasn't formed their vocabulary and thought systems to work in the same way as mine then, of course, my natural way of communicating is somewhat alien. And that's okay. We as humans are creatures who are able to do interpersonal communication. I can publish weird shit and get asked how it's supposed to get interpreted. (thanks to Ziz for showing me a case example of applying this.)
I should trust my future interpretations. And everyone who I communicate with. People can ask precision-increasing questions.
I also have an inappropriately great liking for old English words. It's weird and not very practical. But I like it. So it shall be. No reason to abandon a microhumoric habit just because someone might judge it, especially if I find writing in the microcomedics amusing. Also, I find actual old English hard to read, so it's ironic to want to integrate it into my thinking and thought processi.
Also, I've for a long time thought being "edgy" on purpose is insane and harmful to your communication as a writer. But if being edgy is the intuitive language of your brain right now, what do? Is it preferable not to write than to write text with a single mediocre weakness?
At times I also develop likings for words, even when it's not the most descriptive word for what it's trying to do. Often I inappropriately use words in my head. But should I spend the time fixing this or just let the words do what they want? (And later after getting past the tic find painful amounts of cringe in my old texts)
Avoiding cringe and/or shame is a recipe for failure aversion which is a recipe for stalling both in skill and knowledge. Go through the grey rock. Do the mistakes. Pay the price. Smile in the face of the people who are mad at you because you dare output more shame-inducing work than they.